


and they were partners (oh god they were partners)

by gyudonnn



Category: ChroNoiR, Virtual Streamer Animated Characters
Genre: !slow updates!, Additional tags to be added in the future, Angst, CNR are self-destructive, CNR in high school and college, Coming of Age, Everyone is kinda gay, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kanae is whipped, M/M, Modern CNR AU, Mutual Pining, actually kinda depressing now that i think about it💀✋, i dont trust my own tags too im sorry, if u're confused yes i am too dw, kinda slow plot progression (idk how to make work of chaptered plots so uh-)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28896063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyudonnn/pseuds/gyudonnn
Summary: They were a peculiar pair- the student council president and the choir boy with the tongue piercing.
Relationships: Kanae/Kuzuha (Nijisanji)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 165





	1. purple lilacs

**Author's Note:**

> this is another self-indulgent work of mine so i can cope. ngl i made this to feed my cnr hs aibou agenda. idk if i'd consider this heavy angst since i dont really have a concrete plot yet so the tags may change depending on what i might impulsively write. updates are going to be slow since im used to just writing oneshots but i still hope you enjoy lmao.
> 
> happy brainrotting! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 初恋

_Kanae stuck his tongue out in taunt._

_“You fucking idiot.”_

_Kuzuha snarled, staring in bewilderment at the silver glint on the boy’s tongue._

_Said idiot laughed out loud and lightly tapped on the piercing using his index finger._

_“Don’t be shy. You can say it suits me.”_

_“Shut the fuck up. How am I supposed to cover for your reckless ass again?”_

_Kanae shrugged . “I don't know."_

_"You tell me, Mr. President," he added, flashing the poor and distressed boy in his pajamas a light smile._

_Kuzuha stared in dead silence at the drunk brown-haired that pulled up to his front door at 2AM. A lazy smile was plastered on his face, and Kuzuha was stuck between wanting to punch him with his lips or with his fists._

**_______________________________________________________**

Tokyo was big, annoyingly big.

The buildings, the people, the rent, name it. When Kuzuha first stepped foot on the capital soil, the weight he stubbornly carries around went undeniably heavier than it was before. Though it was beautiful, the city brimmed with an uncomfortable, pent-up tension. It didn’t help that he was a pathetic anti-social ass that buried his nose in his games the whole duration of his elementary days.

He was having second thoughts.

Kuzuha was having second thoughts, but he had a goal.

He had to make sure he makes it.

His mom knew all too well that the boy struggled in conversing, or just struggled with people, in general. Though the majority of the time he was cooped up in his room, huddled up in the comfort of his video games, the young child never failed to achieve the highest grades. As a parent, she was never that strict upon his academic performance, but her heart swims in warmth at the knowledge that her son works hard to make up for the absence of kiddy presence in their abode.

Kuzuha was well aware that the one thing that his mother really wanted for him was friends. It was the only thing that could bring her mind to peace. He was already deprived of a father, so she at least wanted him to have someone that he could lean on except her.

And that was why when he consulted to her about his plans to apply for a scholarship for high school in Tokyo, his mom almost fell out of her chair in shock, albeit happy.

It was midnight, roughly around 3AM. She gaped at the sight before her. Her son was still on his desk, writing god knows what at this time. With his grades, it was no doubt he studied his ass off, but to this extent as a first year in middle school, she thinks it’s a bit too much for her heart.

“Sasha?” She called out to him. “It’s late, kiddo. You should go to bed.”

He turned to her, and the lack of sleep was evident even through the surface of his specs. “I’m not yet done with this one Mom. I’ll do that after I finish.”

“But that’s not yet due until next week.”

A lot of parents are out there struggling to motivate their kids into studying earnestly to do well in school while here she was, worried that her son was doing _too well_.

“That’s still not an excuse for me to slack off, Mom.”

“I’m not telling you to slack off, I’m telling you that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.” She sighed, emotions all over the place. “You know I’m satisfied with any result you give me.”

Kuzuha blinked innocently. “This is my way of making it up to you, since I don’t have any friends I could bring home for now.”

She could feel her heart clench.

“I figured that the reason why you wanted me to bring friends my age over is because it’s too quiet when it’s just the both of us. And you get lonely easily so-”

The boy flinched in surprise when he was suddenly pulled into a tight hug.

“You don’t have to go this far for me, Sasha.”

“I told you, Mom, it’s okay. And besides,”

Her son matured early, and she was quite unsure whether it was a good thing or not.

The small boy awkwardly scratched his nape and showed her a sheepish smile. “Being at the top feels good.”

He lied. His exceptionally good grades aren't for the purpose of making up for his bad social skills. It was because he had to make sure his Mom had something to be proud of. Reassurance.

Kuzuha was still young back then, but looking back, he guesses it’s always been his innate goal to secure his Mom all the happiness she deserved.

Even if it meant crawling his way to the top.

**_______________________________________________________**

Kanae watched in amusement as their professor kept forcing a kind smile directed at the transfer student, who in return, stared at said professor with nonchalant eyes.

Clearing his dry throat, "That is all?" he asked.

"Yes." The white-haired guy replied curtly. "That would be all."

The poor professor blinked, dumbfounded. He licked his lips in defeat, "Go make yourself comfortable and sit. Class is going to start."

He nodded and his eyes scanned the room for an available seat.

The whole fiasco had Kanae stifle a chuckle. The past year has been nothing but boring and uneventful, so days like this were always welcome. He continued to watch with curious eyes as the transfer student carefully examined each seat.

Kanae visibly flinched as crimson eyes made contact with his. From his peripheral vision, the slight twitch of the transfer student's finger didn't go unnoticed by him.

Right then and there, he felt a heavy weight on his chest.

He silently scoffed to himself in disbelief.

Kanae was convinced that he probably had weighed the pros and cons of every seat in the room. He was a scholar after all, and it was a known fact that whichever seat you pick can change your life's course.

Except that whichever seat he were to pick, they still would've had a connection anyway.

Their professor started to ramble endlessly about quantum physics, but he drowned them all out. He was in his last year of high school and it meant that he should make the most of every lecture. It was irritating- the intriguing feeling bubbling in his stomach.

He gave up.

Sneaking a glance at the white-haired boy from the other side of the room, he watched him twirl a pen in between his fingers. They were clad in a few silver rings, and Kanae immediately thought about how they looked good on him.

He silently wished that the school authorities wouldn't tell him off because of the rings, because they looked really _really_ good on his long, and dainty fingers.

His skin was fair and even from afar, he could tell it was smooth. His eyes then landed on his ear, thinking about how a few piercings here and there would compliment his overall look.

Oh.

His breath was caught up in his throat.

His name was Kuzuha, a scholar.

And Kanae found him pretty.


	2. foxglove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 不安定

Kanae sighed in silent annoyance, his feet making continuous taps against the university library's marble floors. They've been in the area for three hours now, and he was itching to stop by the nearest convenience store to have a bite.

He glanced at the man sitting opposite from him, drowning in the sickening brightness of the laptop screen. Back in middle school, working on a thesis was something that he looked forward to. He'd take the risk of working on one alone and despised the mere thought of working on such a big project with a group of people.

Group projects were a scam, honestly. Nothing made him more irritated than the slackers of the class leeching off of his work.

He plopped his elbow on the table and just resorted to observing Kuzuha in his natural habitat, grinding.

One of the many things that Kanae admired about him was the man's determination to get things done. He's not gonna lie and say that Kuzuha is the admirable straight A student that had his life put together, with days planned and properly scheduled. (Even though that was exactly his impression of him the day they first met)

The man oversleeps and gets to class late, sleeps _in_ class, and gets distracted as easily as he gets entertained by the most random of things. Those include abruptly stopping by in front of a pet shop and just ogling the cats displayed by the windows.

Faults aside, he makes up for it with his determination and patience. Kanae could never fathom how he could voluntarily stay immersed in one thing for a long period of time, despite the said short-attention span. He was diligent, hardworking, and actually _knows_ his priorities when it was extremely needed.

It was one of the many things that he admired about him, yet envied him for at the same time.

"You're annoying me." Kuzuha said, eyes focused on his laptop's screen. His fingers moved and typed with incredible speed and precision, something he must've picked up along the years he was addicted in computer games.

Kanae blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He was in a trance, and you can't really blame him.

Kuzuha was interesting, and he still is, despite the few years he's already known him. He had the ability to draw others by just simply speaking. He's awkward, _very damn awkward_ , but the moment he warms up to you, you just find yourself dwelling on him for god knows how long.

The man could talk about the damn weather and Kanae would sit still and listen for hours on end, because he liked how his eyes visibly lights up when he gets lost in his own thoughts and just rambles about whatever comes to mind.

"Pretty." Kanae blurted out.

He saw how Kuzuha's fingers halted and hovered over the keys for a few seconds, and Kanae ended up thinking again.

"You should tone it down, people might get the wrong idea."

Kuzuha was relatively easy to read. He was the kind of guy that wears his feelings like make-up, but ever since they started college, his reactions to Kanae's antics have been lackluster. Yes, he's entirely aware that college life is no longer the same as high school, but a part in him still wants to constantly relive the brief pleasantries of life, the pleasantries and feelings that Kuzuha had the audacity to make him feel.

"I like you."

There was a drip of sorrow in his voice, he sounded tired, almost as if his voice was on the verge of cracking, which it probably is, and Kuzuha looked up from his laptop so fast that he was sure his vision blurred a bit.

Kanae was looking at him with the most fond expression he's ever seen, and something tugged at his chest.

"I know." Kuzuha replied, deciding to look at Kanae straight in the eye. "I do, too."

From his peripheral vision, he could see the sun slowly descending to let the moon take over. Kuzuha was still maintaining eye contact with him, and he was unsure whether he was grateful or not by the natural telepathic link between them.

They need not to exchange words. It was a blessing, at the same time it was a curse.

The sun's orange tints reflected on the eyeglasses perched comfortably on Kuzuha's nose. He was bathed in a warm light, and if only they weren't in public, Kanae would be burying himself in the man's arms right at this moment.

"You're hungry aren't you?"

"Mhm."

"Does chicken and beer sound good?"

"Mhm."

"I'm gonna sleep over so we can finally get your paper over with."

"Mhm."

"I'm gonna steal more of your hot cocoa."

Kanae wanted to cry. It was embarrassing how it was that fast for the tall and lanky man to bring him ease. It was a thing. It's _been_ a thing since high school. The random and senseless conversations, the constant bickering over the smallest of things. They were on the same wavelength, the same pace.

With him, loneliness wasn't a thing.

He let out a soft chuckle. "Do as you please."

**_______________________________________________________**

_"Hi."_

_As Kuzuha was about to take a bite from the onigiri he bought from the school's cafeteria, an unfamiliar voice resounded in his ears. He looked up and saw a boy (obviously his age) with light brown hair. He could easily deduce that this guy was one of the brightest students in his class, both in socializing and academics. His smile had a light feel to it, but something inside Kuzuha was telling him that the lightness of the smile was because it was devoid of any emotion. He met his eyes and on god, he was entranced._

_His eyes were a greyish blue. They were pretty, but they were the cold kind of blue._

_Still, Kuzuha thought they were pretty._

_"I'm Kanae."_

_Kanae. His name was Kanae._

_"I know." Was Kuzuha's curt reply before he turned away from him and proceeded to munch on his much needed onigiri, as it was his first meal of the day. He made the mistake of oversleeping and decided to just skip breakfast because he was running late._

_Running late on the first day was something that he truly dreaded, and it didn't help that his introduction went downhill._

_Kanae blinked in confusion. "Uh, how come you already know?"_

_"I heard your friends calling you. So I figured that was your name."_

_Kanae came to the conclusion that the pretty white-haired boy sucked ass at lying. Him and his friends were on different classes, and he just happened to be very unlucky and ended up being the only one separated from them._

_"Pathetic." Kanae randomly commented. It was unnecessary, he knows. But Kanae was eager to know just how and why this guy intrigued him so much. So much so that he took it upon himself and approached him because he was embarrassed. He checked the guy out for almost 20 minutes during class and he needed his pride back._

_Kuzuha scoffed in disbelief. "Excuse me?"_

_"That was a lie, and there was honestly no need to lie. So I called you pathetic."_

_Kanae himself was being pathetic. The whole thing was ridiculous, and he was entertained. Pushing the pretty boy's buttons was looking to be more entertaining than his previous semester._

_"You're an ass, you know that?" Kuzuha's eyebrows furrowed and annoyance was visible on his face, but Kanae was close enough to see the side of his lips lightly twitch._

_It was either out of irritation or embarrassment, and he was hoping that it was the latter._

_"I know." Kanae replied in a mocking tone._

_They spent an awful lot of minutes like that: Kuzuha eating and trying to mind his own goddamn business, and Kanae just watching him with amused eyes._

_Was this an excuse for Kanae to stare at him from up close rather than from afar? Yes, but he won't admit that. It was funny._

_Kuzuha was tall, awkward, and has a bad sitting posture. His lashes aren't that long, but his eyes were a different story. His eyes were the exquisite kind of red, kinda like red wine, but more eye-catching, even more so with the compliment that his complexion brings. He had a shy air to him._

_"I asked the guy in front of me."_

_Kanae broke out of his trance and let out an unfocused "Huh?"_

_"Your name, I mean." Kuzuha crumpled the now empty piece of plastic in his hands and turned to face Kanae. "I asked him for your name right after the teacher left."_

_"But why?"_

_"You..." Kuzuha hesitated, clearly regretting his previous statement. "You caught my eye, I guess."_

_Kanae laughed out loud. "What's that supposed to mean? So you found me cute or what?"_

_"No, you weren't cute."_

_Kanae didn't expect to be given a very straightforward and serious answer, and he wasn't gonna lie and say that didn't hurt, because it did. He thinks his disappointment was visible on his face, and he could see the poor guy having an internal debate whether he should take back what he said or not._

_"I- I mean..."_

_"No, it's okay. If that's what you really think then I can't really blame you-"_

_"Pretty."_

_Throb._

_The brown-haired blinked, trying to process what he just heard. "What?"_

_"No, I'm not gonna say it again." Kuzuha immediately looked away and stuffed all his trash in the plastic bag that he got from the store with haste, wanting to get out of there fast. He stood up and speed walked past a still dumbfounded Kanae._

_He speed walked, but Kanae swore he saw a light tint of red on his cheeks._

_Kanae wanted to scream._


	3. narcissus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> わがまま  
> It's like he was treading the lines between perfect and insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii? sdjhsd trigger warning besties! pls proceed with caution

"People talk, you know?"

Kanae hummed, absentmindedly fiddling with the joystick of some crane game as he watched Kuzuha struggle to get a miniature pig plushie for the nth time that hour. "Let them. They have nothing better to do anyways."

Kuzuha scoffed. "The same goes for us too, you idiot."

"True, but this is actually just us treating ourselves to some mental recuperation-"

"Fucking-"

He held back a laugh. "-or not."

Kuzuha hissed, seeing the last of his coins get consumed by the ridiculous machine. "I swear this game keeps cheating money off of me."

Kanae laughed at the annoyance plastered on the white-haired boy's face. He made his way closer to him and decided to guide the man so he can finally get the damn piglet. Watching him lose every single time was getting a little infuriating.

"You suck at this." He said as he placed his hand on top of Kuzuha's and proceeded to fuss around with the joystick to get a good feel of how the claw works (read: get a good feel of Kuzuha's hand) .

They were only a few seconds in on that round, and Kanae's hand was starting to feel some cold sweat on his palm. He looked up and grinned, wanting to poke fun at him. "Heh, are you scared?"

"Says the one who's trembling."

Ah.

Kuzuha's eyes stayed glued on the slightly dirtied glass of the damned crane game. "When I said people talk, I wasn't worried about myself, Kanae."

Kanae's hand stilled, and he wasn't sure how to react. He himself isn't sure why he didn't know how to react. Was it true? Was he really the one that's scared? Scared? Scared of what?

The white haired boy noticed that the claw froze, and he glanced down at their hands. He sighed and freed his own from Kanae's and lifted up his chin to make him meet his eyes. Kuzuha felt his chest tighten when he saw how Kanae visibly flinched.

He's guessing he hit the bull's eye.

"I've learned how to give zero fucks about what other people think, Kanae, and if you think the attention is beginning to bother you, we could always stop and-"

Kanae could only blink as he tried to register what Kuzuha just said to his face.

"This. This is what I'm scared of."

Kuzuha had to do a double take. He was scared of this? This- this what? So was he wrong about him all along?

"You know me. You know me too much. You can literally fucking _see_ through me, and it's ridiculous."

If someone were to ask Kuzuha to describe Kanae in one word, it would be unorthodox. Kanae was an unorthodox, very much an organized chaos over anything - somehow managing to simultaneously tread between the lines of both uncluttered and utterly disastrous.

"Why is it ridiculous?" Kuzuha asked, as he snaked his hand around his nape, playing with the baby hairs of the bottom of his head. For what, he wasn't sure. He just- felt like he had to.

"Because I want this. I've been _asking_ for this." Kanae said, a slight crack could be heard and Kuzuha wanted nothing more than to kiss his pain away.

"I want you so bad it hurts."

They were in their high school uniforms, completely exposed to the sneering eyes of the people around them, but they could care less.

As they stood in the middle of the local arcade by the station at around 4AM surrounded by old, rigged crane games, bathed in the blinding neon lights, all Kanae could feel was the warmth of the boy before him.

**_______________________________________________________**

Kuzuha was in for a big surprise when he found out that people found Kanae intimidating.

Though it kinda explains why the girls never bothered to hand him their chocolates during valentines.

Kuzuha never really pegged Kanae to be someone that would shy away from people- or people's emotions, to be exact. In the span of a whole semester, he could conclude that Kanae's openness was only limited to his thoughts, not his emotions. He was the type to say whatever he wants and doesn't care whether he's made someone uncomfortable (at times he'd do it on purpose). That in itself, is where Kuzuha thinks the problem lies.

Kanae's unnaturally high social skills was enough to make people unintentionally divert their attention away from his emotions, and just focus on whatever comes out from his mouth.

It's not that they didn't care. In fact, they _do_ care. So much so that random circles of his would come up to Kuzuha and steal him away from Kanae during break to ask for help in scratching the surface of the brown-haired boy's feelings.

He was weird, and Kuzuha's not gonna be a sap and say he's the good kind of weird, because he's not.

Kanae worries him.

It's like he continues to detach himself from the world.

**_______________________________________________________**

"Say, Kuzuha."

Kuzuha let out a tiny hum, muffled by the red scarf he had wrapped around his neck. It was winter, and he was sure as hell a blizzard was brewing by the way the wind was starting to gain momentum when they were outside, but here they were at the school's indoor pool. It was closed, and students were prohibited to go in.

Not that it would stop Kanae from breaking in and taking Kuzuha with him.

"If I drown, would you save me?"

Kuzuha was sure that his heart practically leaped out of his chest. "What?" If he was freezing earlier, then he wasn't, now.

Kanae was the type to make remarks like these. Out of nowhere, unnecessary, and completely out of topic. Kuzuha was used to them. At least he was supposed to.

"No, wait. That's not right."

And yet this one somehow felt like it was completely out of line, because his gut was telling him that what was about to come out of the man's mouth in the next few seconds is gonna hunt him- until tomorrow? Or until late night in his dreams?

"Let's say I _attempted_ to drown." Kanae turned around and face the still white-haired boy leaning on a wall nearby. "What would you do?"

Perhaps 'til the end of time.

Kanae was unusual. He was both the captivating type of unusual, and the mad kind of unusual. He's just- there, poking and tauntingly knocking at death's doors. Death doesn't test him, _he_ tests death.

He was mad like that.

"I'm not stopping you." Before Kuzuha took the time to actually think and rearrange his thoughts. His mouth just moved on its own. "I'm not stopping you, if that's what you really wish for."

Scratch that. They both were- mad, that is.

Kanae started to walk towards his direction. He was only a few strides away from him, and yet the lone sound of Kanae's heels making contact with the floor, and the subtle ringing of his ears, made it feel like an eternity. The brown-haired boy stopped in front of him, mere inches away from his face. It was ironic, to say the least.

"What do you mean by that?"

Kuzuha visibly shivered as Kanae's breath tickled his cheeks. The question was close to a whisper, and the distance between them wasn't helping Kuzuha's internal turmoil.

He was someone that stood at 182 centimeters, and yet Kanae made him feel so small.

He makes him do and say the unthinkable.

"I'd drown _with_ you, Kanae." Kuzuha's voice dropped a few octaves. Though it could still be heard, the obvious exhaustion laced in it has gave Kanae the mental simulation that Kuzuha's voice was on the verge of breaking.

It gave him an unreasonable sense of relief.

Kuzuha closed his eyes as Kanae wrapped his arms around his nape and closed the distance between them. His eyes were closed shut, and all he could feel was the ridiculous speed at which his heart was racing, and Kanae's slightly trembling lips against his.

He was crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how to write kiss scenes im sorry lmao im single as heck. and yes this all took place in high school :))


	4. balsamine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 焦り

Calling the two of them delinquents would be a bit of a stretch. Though there were times that they would commit "delinquent-ish" acts, they were never really a big of a deal, just enough to make people think that they were neither too good nor too bad - and _if_ they do cross the line of bad, they always made sure to keep all deeds deemed unacceptable away from the public eye.

The Kuzuha from a few years ago wouldn't even dare think about doing things that could potentially tarnish his reputation and his scholarship. Skipping classes was the most extreme "rebellious" thing he has done (he's only done it once in middle school, and twice in high school currently), and he never would've thought that it would be at bottom of the list right now.

Smoking was something that never really crossed his mind, yet here he was with a cancer stick in between his fingers. Though between the stick and Kanae, the latter was more of a cancer than the former.

Their professors would always say that when they get to have a taste of tobacco, it would be hard to get rid of it, though Kuzuha begged to differ - no matter how naive or privileged it sounds. Trying cigarettes out for the first time was rather uneventful, minus the sudden burst of coughing from the first drag. It wasn't as addicting as the adults made it sound, but Kuzuha could see where they're coming from. The first try was definitely not the experience that could get you hooked to it, but rather the lack of _feel_ it gave, was the trigger to getting a second one, a third, a fourth, and- you know the rest.

Kuzuha wasn't addicted, but he was able to understand just by watching the brown-haired boy beside him currently drowning in his thoughts.

"Ne, Kuzu?" Kanae spoke, breaking Kuzuha out of his trance.

"Mhm?" He replied with a hum, eyes mindlessly following a random bird fly around in circles, hopping from one cable wire to another.

"Are you going home to your mom for New Years?" Kanae asked, a puff of intoxicating white smoke emerging from his small mouth.

"Yeah." Kuzuha immediately answered. It wasn't really a question that was complicated enough to answer. He adores his mom, and misses the random visits to his room, offering curry or whatnot in the middle of the night. "I'd go everyday if I had the chance." He admitted.

"You?" Kuzuha turned to look at Kanae and asked. "Are you planning to go back?"

Kanae sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know." He let go of the stick he was smoking and crushed the cigarette butt using his boot-clad heel. "I'm not really in a family feud or anything. It's just- boring."

"Kinda lost its homey feel I guess." Kaanae added, turning to meet Kuzuha's eyes as he flashed him a smile. "Let's go?"

"Mhm."

His answer lingered in Kuzuha's mind as they walked through the snow-covered pavement. Soft crunches resonated whenever they took a step, and Kuzuha just found himself glancing down at their footprints.

Time will come where these footprints, a few inches smaller than his, are going to start appearing in the eyes of another. In a time where he's not there, in a time where he's not the one walking behind him.

A time that was so close to coming.

"Let's stop by the convenience store for a sec." Kuzuha blurted out. Kanae stopped in his tracks and looked at him in confusion.

"Okay, but why so sudden?"

Kuzuha fixed the red scarf wrapped snuggly around his neck and held Kanae by the wrist, walking towards the nearby 7/11.

_"Welcome!"_ Came a distant, energetic shout from the part-timer by the counter. The two gave her a quick nod, and both the worker and Kanae can only watch in confusion as a tall, lanky white-haired boy maneuvered his way into the beauty aisle in slow, but long strides.

Kanae tired his best to stifle a laugh at the scene. An edgy looking tall guy standing at 6ft was in his own little world, scanning through countless pink tinted items, surrounded in all things feminine. It was endearing, to say the least. After a few minutes, Kuzuha came to the counter, a couple of black, simple pins in hand.

"I'd like these checked out please."

The part-timer nodded and scanned his items. While doing so, Kuzuha took out his wallet and started looking for a few coins. He had cash, but it would be a waste to use it.

"I'm guessing it's for your girlfriend?" The part-timer asked, trying to start a small conversation while she pulled out a small paper bag for the pins.

Silence consumed the room, only the faint sound of PRISTIN'S _We LIKE_ in the background. The poor part-timer blinked in slight embarrassment as Kuzuha seemingly didn't hear her because he was too preoccupied with finding some damn coins (he was now searching for some in his bag).

Kanae cleared his throat, feeling bad for the woman. "Yeah, it probably is."

"No, its for you Kanae." Kuzuha rebutted almost immediately as he rummaged through his bag. " _Where the fuck are_ \- ah! Here!" He pulled out some coins from his bag - _finally_ \- and handed them to the part-timer.

"Thank you... for coming?" She said in a slight trance as Kuzuha took the bag away from her hands and left the store in a flash. Kanae followed closely but he gave her a sheepish smile before bidding her good bye.

Once Kanae stepped out of the store, he walked towards Kuzuha, and once he was beside him, they both started walking back to Kanae's apartment to hang out. "What are those for?"

"For your hair."

Kanae raised his eyebrows in confusion and raised a hand to feel his hair. His mouth formed a small "o" at the sudden realization. His hair was getting long. He never realized it, but his bangs as well. They were already hovering past his eyelashes.

"Yeah, understandable. But what's it got to do with you?" Kanae asked, both in genuine confusion and just for the purpose of annoying him, because he knows that Kuzuha minimizes his answers as best as he can to avoid further questions.

"So it won't get in the way when my mom forces you to help her cook."

"Oh, your mom's coming here?

"No, I'm taking you with me." Kuzuha said, fiddling with the pins. He stopped to turn and look at the boy beside him. "I mean if you don't want to-"

"I'd _love_ to, you idiot."

Kuzuha sneered at him. "You were _definitely_ waiting for me to say it, huh?"

"And if I was?"

"What would you do if I didn't bring it up? Burst through our doors?"

"And if I do?"

Kuzuha laughed, and with a smile wide enough for Kanae to have a peak of his little fangs. His laugh was contagious, they were sudden bursts of serotonin that Kanae loved to drown in. "She'd love you."

Kanae had to take a few deep breaths to stop himself from kissing the man right then and there.

**______________________________________________________**

"Just place them on the table, Sasha!" Said a voice that, oddly enough, was comforting. Kanae figured it came from the kitchen, since the voice was accompanied with the sound of something being fried in aggressive, hot oil.

As soon as they got off the train, luggage in hand, Kuzuha received a text from his mom saying they needed this and that for dinner. Boy, was the white-haired boy irritated. Buying groceries for his mom was never a good experience, ever since he has reached the age of being able to run errands for her by himself. It was only the two of them, yet she makes him buy so much stuff that his weak stature was barely able to keep up. _"It's so you can build some muscle, you lazybug,"_ she'd retort.

Though buying them by himself was indeed infuriating, having Kanae with him was fun, and may he dare say convenient, since Kanae was able to know his way around the market scarily easy, despite only being there for the first time. Pushing around some damn cart around the suffocating store was bearable, as long as he had Kanae in front of him to follow around.

"Kanae, dear."

Said boy was startled. "Y-Yes?" He was caught off guard at the loss of formality, but it was welcomed. "What can I do for-"

A woman in her early 40's emerged from the kitchen, ladle in hand. "Those look heavy." She said, glancing at their bags. "Sasha, be a good boy and guide him to your room please."

"Do you me to call you guys when dinner's ready?" She added.

"No, its okay, Mom. We'll eat when we get hungry. Just leave the dishes by the sink, we'll do them after we eat."

"Okay." She nodded and looked at Kanae's way. Maintaining eye contact was something that Kanae was extremely good at, especially since he was the type that appreciated it most when people try to make eye contact when talking. They stood there for a few seconds just staring into each other's eyes. It wasn't the kind of interaction hat made Kanae want to shy away- rather it was a genuine try of wanting to get a good feel of what the other was about.

Kanae could see a faint hint of unfamiliarity swirl in her eyes.

_Why?_

Kuzuha nudged his elbow and gestured to the direction where his room was located. "Let's go." With a silent nod, Kanae followed him.

The house was a little too big for two people, more so since Kuzuha was now staying at the city, this was indeed too big to be lived by one person. They passed by what seemed to be two guest rooms and a master bedroom. Kuzuha stopped by a room at the end of the hallway, in front of another one with a slightly opened door. Kanae guesses it's his mom's room.

Kuzuha opened the door- and well, he expected it. The room was devoid of any color except black and red, he might as well say it was identical to his room in Tokyo.

"Yeah, this is your room alright." Kanae said with a light chuckle. From his peripheral vision, he saw the boy roll his eyes and he could only shake his head.

The PC, the black blazers and trench coats hung on some part of his wall, the couple pairs of shoes and anime figurines on display- it was so _him_. You could present hundreds of black and red themed rooms in front of Kanae and he would still be able to tell which one was Kuzuha's.

It was warm.

**______________________________________________________**

Playing Mario Kart was definitely a must.

As soon as they settled their bags, it was an unspoken rule that they would search every nook and cranny of the room until they come across Kuzuha's controllers and play. Childish, but never too old. They spent the rest of their day like that: playing games to their heart's content, Kuzuha doing his very best to hide his baby pictures, and Kanae constantly pushing Kuzuha aside because his head was blocking the TV.

Kanae doesn't want to imagine just how boring New Years could've been if he didn't come with him.

After countless banters and _"Ew, you suck at this game."_ , they have somehow managed to calm down and dropped dead on the sheets.

Kanae closed his eyes and took a deep breath. New Years was something that he wasn't looking forward to. It's not like he was not ready to let go of yet another bad year, but the changing years constantly reminded him that the clock continues to tick, no matter how frequent he's stayed in the made-up scenarios in his head.

Contrary to popular belief, between Kanae and Kuzuha, the former was the one that absolutely adores fantasies. Kuzuha was more of a realist, much to everybody's surprise. His awkward and introverted nature made it hard to believe. He was good at advices, his words had meanings attached to them (if you dig deeper enough), meanings that are pointless at first, but can prove itself to be something that you unconsciously wanted to hear.

"Is it okay if I go get something to eat?"

"Quit acting like you don't steal from my fridge every single day."

"It's your _mom's_ house. I at least have some human decency left, just so you know."

The white-haired boy let out a small defeated smile, clearly on the verge of dozing off. Give it a few minutes and he'd be out like a light. "Whatever you say."

Kanae turned his head to side and was met with Kuzuha's side-profile. No matter how many times, dare he say how many lifetimes he's going to have, he would never get tired of staring at him. He was attractive, both looks and personality-wise. Kanae was glad that he was one of the few that could actually get a good look of what his personality had to offer.

He wanted to keep him away from the world.

Kuzuha's drowsiness instantly withered away when he felt a soft pair of lips on the tip of his ear. He sat up in haste and his hand flew to his ear. Kanae laughed, seeing the familiar tint of red on his neck.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Kuzuha asked, almost messing up his words. His head ached due to the sudden force of sitting up, and the unnaturally fast pace of his heartbeat was not helping.

Kanae snickered. "How come that wasn't how you reacted when I kissed you on the lips?"

"That was different."

He laughed even harder, eager to push the blushing boy's buttons. "That was clearly a few stages advanced than this. I don't get why you're so worked up about a peck- much less on the ear."

"You're different." Kuzuha retorted, accompanied by the rolling of his eyes. "The time, place, your mental- they were all different that time." He sighed and fell back down on the bed with a slight huff. "It looked like you really needed me, so I gave in."

"What if I looked like I didn't need you?"

Kuzuha turned on his side away from Kanae. "There are no what if's. I just would. Whatever season, time- under whatever circumstance you may be, I'd be there."

Kanae was silenced. This was one of the many things that Kuzuha doesn't realize about himself. The simplest things, the simplest words that come out of his mouth was enough of a reason to make you want to curl yourself up in his warmth. He was obnoxious, and he was definitely not the cool and quiet smartass that people perceived him to be, but he was someone that you'd want to treasure.

The bed on the other side dipped, and Kuzuha could feel Kanae's breath against his hair. He closed his eyes as Kanae rubbed his head on his, ignoring the slight ache in his heart as he felt the desperation seep from the brown-haired boy.

"Just eat already, you idiot."

Kanae chuckled, causing a small vibration against his chest. "Alright. Do you want me to bring you anything?" He got up from the bed and dusted off the imaginary dirt on his pants.

"No, I'm okay."

"Okay." Kanae didn't press any further. He's a grown man, and Kanae knows first-hand just how annoying a fussy person is. "I'll be back." He got up from the bed and dusted off the imaginary dirt on his pants. "Don't miss me too much."

Kuzuha hummed before he let the shackles of sleep completely consume him. "I won't, don't worry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not too confident with this but i really wanted to update to commemorate their honeyworks medley so here's some soft nowa. i mayhaps cried and screamed when it premiered


End file.
